Monday, August 07, 2006

measure in love

welp, i "signed my life away" so to speak this afternoon. and i am excited. i am now the pleased renter of apt #3 on minot avenue. it's the cutest little place, just right for 2 girls under 5'3" :) (seriously, the doorways and the shower wouldn't be conducive to anyone taller.) so that's pretty big.

the other day i was with a friend from work, and she was asking me what i'm doing. what're my plans? going back to school? management? a different job? questions like that are so hard for me, cuz i feel like such a lump answering them... well, no, i'm not looking for a better job and no i don't want to go to grad school. or i feel like a mystic... i feel like i'm supposed to wait and this is where i'm supposed to be right now. so i got all worked up about that: what AM i doing? i need to get moving on SOMETHING!

then this morning i sat in on the class for high schoolers, and the lesson was on serving an audience of one. what a lovely reminder. all the things i feel pressure to do, to have answers for that i don't right now, are pressures i put on myself to please other people. i'm worried about what my life looks like to others; and not in terms of if they see Jesus, but i don't want them to see a loser, or a slacker, or a willy nilly silly girl :) but, i really do feel like this is right right now. trust me, me and God have plenty of talks about what the heck is going on in my life. but he keeps reassuring me and giving me peace and patience, and he keeps lighting that fire in me, giving me glimpses of what's to come.

in the words of jars of clay, Jesus' blood never failed me yet. :)

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