all that i can do

well it's been a good weekend. i've gotten to see a lot of friends i haven't seen in a really long time.

i had a hard time today at a bridal shower feeling silly because i had to tell people what i'm doing now. and all i have to tell them is that i'm a barista at a coffee shop. now i really like this job, but i feel like telling people this is what i'm doing is insufficient. like i need to be working a "real" job in a corporate office or something. but i know that what i'm doing doesn't define me, and that it doesn't matter what others think of me or what i'm doing with my life. it's so unfortunate that having a job like mine receives reactions like, "you can do that while you're young," and things like that. if the decisions i'm making in terms of my life are recognized as "young" then i never want to be old. i don't want to get the normal job and start accumulating debt and all that goes with the ordinary life that i'm expected to assume following college graduation. i want to live a life that glorifies my God and pursue the passions that he has built into me. i don't wanna wait until retirement to do what i always really wanted to do. that's not what God intended.

I think a lot of times girls are told in terms of their image and things like that that God makes them beautiful and worthy of love. it's true of jobs and just life in general, too. i am who God says i am, and nothing less. who cares if i'm "just" a barista. the only reason it receives that reaction is because it's not a high paid job. but maybe that low paying job allows me to interact with people and touch hundreds of lives each day hopefully with the love and joy of Jesus. and who's to say this isn't just a part of my journey?

The LORD is good. When trouble comes, he is a strong refuge. And he knows everyone who trusts in him.
nahum 1:7
i'm so glad God knows me. all that i can do is hold onto him and follow where he leads me.