i've been sittin', waitin', wishin'

there's word of some potential future opportunities in the making. i'm excited.

i'm reading 'a chance to die' by elisabeth elliot, about the life of amy carmichael. it's really good. it pumps me up, just reading about the way God was working in her, the way he shaped her heart for the ministry that he called her to, and the path that she followed that wasn't always clear cut or obvious. it says about her decision o leave what she knew and travel abroad to preach the gospel,
"If it was in fact God's leading, it was not by any miracle such as a pillar of fire, an audible voice, an angelic visit, a star, or handwriting on the wall. It was not by the ordinary methods by which, in combination, God seems to nudge us in the path of righteousness: circumstances, common sense, godly counsel, biblical principles. It was a thought."

i really liked this because i feel like since i've been back from my time in rio, my desire to serve God and the oppressed overseas hasn't waned. but i also feel like no other opportunity that seemed right has come to me. i've had ideas, hopes, daydreams of things that seem like options, but nothing has really been like, this is what God wants me to do. nothing has, like the book says, come to me in a pillar of fire. but maybe, the thing is, i can't really go to the wrong place or love and serve the wrong people if my heart is right and my desire really is to love God and spread his love to those who are pushed to the side. where i go could just be a thought. or a friend's thought that she sends in an e-mail ;) who knows. i say that a lot these days: who knows.

also, i'm reading 'compassion' by henri nouwen in a small group i'm a part of. the last chapter was on togetherness in the context of a Christian community. it says, "(Christian community) grows from a deep sense of being called together to make God's compassion visible in the concreteness of everyday living." and then later, "the Christian community is not driven together but drawn together."

it makes me think of the friendships i've been forming recently, the passions i share with people, and the ways i am drawn into deeper relationships with those that share similar desires and hopes. it's neat to think that this is Christian community, and that our "team" that we daydream about could really be, that we are drawn to one another because of our love for Jesus and our sense of calling.